Space Hoppers - Dance of the Guinea Pigs Read online

  Xander walked pensively, holding his aching torso, into Engine Room One before heading to Med-crew. He wanted time to think and to come to terms with all that had happened. The engines hummed gently and he stood on the side, leaning on the balcony railing, expecting to be soothed by the gentle rotation of the green orbs. He stared at them, a frown deepening on his forehead, his knuckles getting steadily whiter as they gripped the rail.

  The orbs still circled sedately but watching them was not gentle in the slightest as each orb now appeared to hold a teaming mass of eels. They intertwined with each other, butted the glass with their teeth and thrashed in the green liquid.

  He stood for a moment longer before bursting into engineering to look for Booker. He found him hunched over some plans and hauled him into his private office.

  “One eel, Booker, we had one eel and I asked you to deal with it. What was so difficult about that?”

  Booker had the grace to look embarrassed. “Well, funny thing. I decided to delegate the problem to one of our younger recruits and I told him exactly what you told me – take care of it. He’s… an uncomplicated lad really, and in fairness to him he did what I said right down to the letter. First he decided that the eel would probably like some companionship so he hooked another one, made sure they were properly fed and I think he’s even been talking to them. I can guarantee that he’s been giving them the best care possible. But, well, one thing obviously led to another and now we can’t get the ruddy things to stop breeding.”

  Xander pinched the skin between his eyes together to try and stop the incoming headache.

  Booker took in Xander’s torn and bloody appearance. “What happened to you? Rough game of slider?”

  “I’ll fill you in later. Things got a bit involved on the planet.”

  “Fair enough. Don’t worry though,” Booker slapped his arm causing Xander to wince, “things can’t get any worse, can they? Anyway, there’s something unusual come up from the laundry chute that I think you should be aware of. It’s going to surprise you!”

  “Booker, the only thing that would surprise me is if we manage to get to Kaor without any more incidents. Is it that kind of surprise?”

  The Engineer rummaged around in his papers. “You know, if you insist on setting such high expectations you’re only going to be disappointed. I’ve got it here somewhere. By the way, that poison we put down has pretty much gone now, we didn’t put much down mind but … Aha, here it is.” He handed Xander a computer readout showing the breakdown of waste sucked from material over the last week. “Look at the reading from the Earthling’s unit. There’s a hell of a lot of DNA been sucked through.”

  “Oh, yeah, I heard about that one. Apparently it was when she got attacked by one of those guinea pigs. It came on board in a small craft, we had no idea they had the capacity for space travel.” Seeing Booker get excited at the prospect of new technology he raised his hand. “And it would have been really good to study it, but according to the security cameras one of your crew thought it was junk and threw it away. It must be so reassuring for you to have such keen, enthusiastic team members.” He gave a smile and walked out to find sanity and hopefully some painkillers in Med-crew.

  Nine

  In the Relaxation space, Derek and Brelt were walking through one of the tropical plant areas. The air was warm and humid, exotic flowers fought for the attention of the humming birds that delicately pollinated them and they were alone. Brelt held her hand out, palm open to try and entice one of the birds with vivid blue wings that flitted past them.

  She breathed a contended sigh. “It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” Plucking off a striking red flower and tucking it behind her ear, she eyed Derek speculatively. “I love to come here and unwind sometimes. It makes me feel peaceful and open to anything that life may offer me.” She gazed coyly up at him. ”You know what I mean?”

  “Yes, it’s very pretty. I go to the gym to relax, after a couple of hours lifting weights the muscles in my shoulders don’t pinch at all.” Derek gave her the smile of the unaware male and idly felt the bark of one of the palms.

  “Really? If your shoulders are pinching I could massage them for you if you like. I’ve got some aromatic oils that I picked up on Norffas that would work wonders. That was so clever of you to think about making the planet’s surface dark; it’s so reassuring to know that you’re so commanding. I’d love to do something to show my appreciation,” she gushed, before leaning closer towards him and softening her voice. “We could go back to my pod and light some candles, put some throw cushions on the floor and…”

  “Oh, it’s OK thanks. I did some bench presses before I came out so I’m pretty loose right now and I wouldn’t want you to go to all that trouble just for a pinched nerve. It’s a kind thought though.” He stared up at the leaves. “How old do you think some of these palms are? I suppose they were brought in full grown; I always thought they grew slowly.”

  She dismissed the palms with a shrug and folded her arms. “Easy to lose patience with things that are slow on the uptake, isn’t it?” Her foot started to tap.

  “I’m not so sure. We were taught at the Academy that patience is one of the greatest skills a fighter pilot can have. To rush at something you really want before you’re ready could ruin everything. We were taught that you cannot call yourself a true fighter pilot until you can stop an enemy in his tracks with a single shot. The trick is to be ready for anything, always alert, expect the unexpected.”

  There was a sharp crack as Derek was knocked out by a ripe coconut.

  Sarah walked cautiously through the open door into Garet’s pod and stared at what looked like a home-made chemistry set taking up one whole side of the room. The rest of the pod was totally unlived in and neat to the point of mania. A large painting of coloured swirls dominated the wall next to a table. He saw her come in and raised a large cocktail glass. “Welcome!”

  “Hi Garet, I just thought I’d pop by and see if you were feeling all right. Brelt told me you were hurt.”

  “Come on in and have a seat. I don’t feel too bad actually, but don’t tell anyone because I’ve had visitors all morning and every single one of them brings me a get well soon gift.”

  As Sarah sat down on the sofa she saw a small collection of bottles, mostly empty, in the corner.

  With one tentacle Garet grabbed another glass, one opened a tap from the glassware behind him to fill it and another deftly speared a cherry with a cocktail stick and put it in. He passed the finished article to her. It was black.

  She sniffed the drink and grimaced. “Do you use this for recreational use?”

  He smiled, “Absolutely! It’s the perfect drink, it’s alcoholic, corrosive and when heated it can be used as a deadly weapon. Three in one.”

  “What’s it called?” she said taking a small sip.

  “Lethal.”

  She quickly spat the drink back into the glass. “Is that a name or a description?”

  “No idea. Would you like one?” He passed her a bowl of peanuts.

  Sarah took a couple. “Thanks. Are you in any pain?” Four of his tentacles were bandaged and there was a large plaster on his head. He was covered in grape-sized bumps, each one smothered in white cream.

  “Not really, my stress medication helps.”

  “You’re not going to make me believe that Med-crew gave you pills for stress!”

  “They didn’t.” He pointed to his cocktail glass. “I prescribed this one myself. Anyway, I think you humans must have a pretty low alcohol tolerance if you can get drunk on honey. Definitely wouldn’t recommend it. What about you? Heard you got married, congratulations.” He raised his glass and winked at her. “Good catch, you’ll have put a lot of noses out of joint back on his home planet, I can tell you!”

  Sarah laughed. “I think you missed the bit where Xander managed to stop the wedding. My hero!” In response to the toast she hoped for the best and risked another sip of her drink. “I think it’s safe to say that
it was a narrow escape though.”

  “On your planet…” Garet looked thoughtful, “they don’t give you much cultural education about other civilisations, do they?”

  “None at all. It’s been a real eye opener for me coming here! Actually, this drink isn’t too bad if you ignore the taste and the burning sensation, is it?”

  “Er, now don’t flip out or anything but in one respect when Xander fought the Namdol he technically transferred ownership of you to himself.” Seeing her terrified expression, he went on. “It’s a technicality, Sarah, chill! It’s just ownership, all you have to do is ask him to be released and job done.” He watched as she breathed out again. “I couldn’t help notice that you’ve been getting quite close to Simon recently…”

  “I suppose it’s only natural since we’re from the same planet.”

  “So you like being around him then?” Garet helped himself to another drink from the wall chemistry set and tilted his head at Sarah for an answer. There was a faint “plop” as, unseen, a guinea pig fell into the feeder tube of Garet’s cocktail maker.

  “It’s hard to describe really. ‘Like’ is probably the wrong word, I’m not sure it’s even comfortable. I can’t explain but he’s quite good company in a strange sort of way.” She brushed something off her trousers. “I admit that I am a bit drawn to him. Just a bit though, it’s not going to go anywhere.”

  Garet took Sarah’s glass from her and topped it up ignoring the rhythmic tapping sound as something worked its way through the system behind him. “I hear that a couple of the other female crewmates don’t find him totally unattractive.” He sat back to see how this new piece of information was received, oblivious to the desperate scratching noise in the background.

  “Oh? Well, of course he’s a good looking guy who’s been lonely for the last couple of years. Nothing strange about that. Perfectly natural. It would be silly to think that he’d concentrate all his attentions on one person. Wouldn’t it?” She played with a peanut.

  “I’ve asked him over for a drink later on. I haven’t really spoken to him, you know, what with one thing and another.” He brightened up. “Anyway, before you have any sort of relationship with anyone you’ll have to ask Xander’s permission first, seeing as how you’re his property now…”

  “Xander? Hah! Don’t get me started on how I feel about him! He’s always pointing out the things I do wrong, nitpicking and every time I mess up he’s there, somehow. It’s like some kind of screw-up radar… he just knows. You see, if these drinks end up going to my head I’ll bump into him on the way out and he’ll march me over to my pod in case I accidentally activate the ship’s self-destruct button.”

  Garet tried not to smile. “Well, that’s just inconsiderate.”

  “Of course, he did save my life on the planet so I suppose I owe him for that.”

  They were interrupted by a shuddering noise from the cocktail maker on the wall. Garet limped over to stand by Sarah and watch as the machine was coming to the end of whatever process it had set itself on.

  “IS THIS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?” shouted Sarah over the din.

  “INGREDIENTS IN ONE END AND FINISHED PRODUCT OUT THE OTHER, I DON’T… oh, it’s finished. I don’t remember putting in any more ingredients.” He moved slowly over to the dispensing tube. “Ah, but apparently it’s now working on automatic. Well, it has a certain amusement value but I’m not sure it’s entirely practical. What do you think?”

  He passed her a furry cocktail glass.

  Having found an excuse for a few minutes of precious privacy, Xander, considerably cleaner and less bloody, once again pulled the blinds and secured the lock on his door. He pulled out the sword and, without waiting, touched the hilt of the blade onto the pink stone. He shut his eyes as pink light filled the room and connected him once more with the other Seekers. Three places around the circle now stood empty.

  Seeker Darlon spoke. “Thank you, everyone, for joining together at such short notice. I regret that I have unpleasant news to share with you. It appears that the Pirates have destroyed a planet in one of the outer sectors. They are stronger now than we ever imagined they could be and the only explanation appears to be that they have either found the Light before us, or have joined forces with the Outsiders. It is too dangerous for us to meet together in any way other than this one as we are now the last remaining defence against the Pirates. I want you to gather those loyal to you, ones you can trust, and form pockets of strength where it is safe to do so. The battle is not lost, Seekers, but the war has begun. Does anyone have anything to report?”

  “The last time we met,” said Xander, “Seeker Zam described how his crew were starting to see ‘dark areas’ and how the crew were unstable. Our Chief Engineer has informed me that the temperature on the ship is dropping and there have been reports of crew members thinking they saw movement when there wasn’t anything. We do, however, appear to have an invasion of guinea pigs, which could explain the movements, but the temperature drop is an anomaly.

  “We picked up another Earthling when we refuelled and the doctor informs me that his biological make-up is not the same as Sarah’s. Unfortunately some of the doctor’s records were lost with the separation and he is unclear if this is normal or if it only affects one of them, and if so which.”

  Seeker Darlon hesitated. “I have had communication with the Cadovoans; they have nominated Sarah to speak for them as the Visitor from their planet. Obviously this is very unusual but clearly we would not challenge their right to do this.”

  “They want Sarah to speak for them?”

  “Yes.”

  “Seriously?” He was answered by a stony silence. “I apologise. It has been a long voyage and I am keen to return to Kaor.”

  Seeker Darlon spoke. “All Seekers who are currently on ships must be wary to the fact that they may not be thinking clearly. Recruit one crew member that you trust and work together. All our energies will be directed towards slug-hole manipulation and another meeting will not be possible for the next few days. That is all. Go with Light.”

  The pink light faded and Xander was alone.

  One of the four surviving guinea pigs stuck its nose out from behind what appeared to be a long chest in one of the living pods. Tutt-tutt had never wanted to be part of the mission and had broken away from the others as quickly as possible. Deep down he knew he wasn’t cut out for the army lifestyle but he’d been seduced by the pictures shown at the recruiting office. They’d never told him exactly how guinea pigs were expected to crew a yacht but in the depths of his soul he knew that was the life he was destined for. Tutt-tutt crept out and tried to make a dash in the pink glow for the space underneath a sofa. Halfway to his destination the pink glow faded and he found himself staring up at a very large sword.

  Brelt held up a cream dress and looked critically at her reflection in the mirror. The coconut incident had given her the perfect excuse to invite Derek to her pod for dinner and she had rushed back to prepare. She discarded the dress onto a pile of other rejected clothing and went back to the closet for something with a lower neckline.

  The wardrobe rail spun around and she reached in for a red evening dress that was slit down the thigh. She hesitated; too obvious? The material was soft to the touch and shimmered when it moved. Brelt had been powerless to resist it and as there had only been one left in the shop she had paid an obscene amount for it, even though the dress was a size smaller than she could fit into[8].

  However, playing so much Slider over the past few months had made her toned and slender and as she slipped the silky garment over her head it went on perfectly. She twirled with satisfaction. Obvious would do just fine.

  Her gaze was drawn to a small vial of black-market cadka resting on the counter top. No, tonight she wasn’t going to leave anything to chance.

  Lingor sat on the floor listening to the chattering of Tutt-tutt and nodding. Xander looked from one to the other.

  “Well?”

  “The guinea pi
g has asked if he could join the crew.”

  “What?”

  “He said that the leaders of his planet have formed an alliance with the Pirates and he now has nothing to go back for. Apparently he’s been trained in explosives and deep sea diving and he would happily do anything you ask in exchange for safe passage to the next planet.” The guinea pig made a chattering noise. “Although he said he would rather join your crew and fight.”

  “Deep sea diving?” Xander paused. “Please ask him when, on a ship that travels through space, we might use explosives or diving.”

  Lingor had a long conversation with Tutt-tutt before answering Xander. “He said that that’s what the Pirates used him for. He’d also be more than willing to tell us where they did those things and any other information we may wish to know. On the condition that we take him on as crew and never return him to the planet.”

  Xander stared hard at the small, furry creature before shrugging. “It makes as much sense as anything else so far this trip. However, until we get to Kaor, and he can be processed properly, Martyn will show him to secure lodgings. We’ve got half the crew ready to barbecue anything remotely furry and the other half on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Tell him it’s for his own safety.” As Lingor passed on the information Tutt-tutt stood on his hind legs and raised a paw in salute. Xander nodded in acknowledgement and buzzed through to Martyn to arrange accommodation and a translator chip.

  Then he sent a message requesting that Booker join him in his pod as soon as possible.

  Alone in her section of the kitchen, Rayine was rummaging around, unsuccessfully, in her store cupboard for some more kebabs. Usually so careful with her portioning, she had somehow let herself get one short. She drummed her fingers on a work-station in frustration as a pack of salt dropped off the shelf behind her. Rayine noted it distractedly. She would send a stiff note to the sous-chef about the importance of safe stacking.